I’m pledging a fraternity this semester, and surprisingly I just found out today why I am here. I thought I knew the reasons keeping me from dropping out, because pledging is extremely taxing.
I was in Wisconsin for the weekend on a trip with my pledge class. We decided there was a need for an extreme bonding experience. One to help us get to know everyone and what has brought them to this part of their life. It was a great trip, I will not dwell on the details but a great amount of time was spent hanging out and relaxing with one another.
When we go back I was very tired, we were on the road for five hours today and we got up to get ready to leave around 6:30. So when I got back to my room I decided to take a nap, while I was asleep I had a very strange dream.
I was in the woods; deep, dark, and dense trees all around me, wet grass and leaves crunch under my feat. I hear voices but what they say are unrecognizable, as if the words being spoken to me in another language, their meanings evade my intellects jabs for remembrance. After a while I give up trying to understand their evasive meaning.
For the first time I realize I’m not standing but running, no sprinting, though the forest away from the voices. I look back to find a hoard of spirits from the past, present, and future, coming after me. They are the ones calling out to me; still nothing of their meaning presents itself to me. I look on the ground and see a trail of fire in my wake; I run faster hoping to our run the flames following me as well. The faster I run the faster the flames proceed, I keep on running as if the wind is my feet and I effortlessly fly though the forest.
I soon come realize I am hunched over and running with my arms, I look down and realize I do not have but paws, covered in charcoal black fur. What is happened to me, I look up into the sky and see a full harvest moon, red and devouring like the fire raging behind me. Out of compulsion, I howl, there is not good reason for this but impulses told me I should. It becomes me I’m a wolf black as the night.
I come upon an opening in the trees; I run faster hoping to escape the flames that are now consuming my home. The home I live, the home I cherish, the home where I have my friends and family, it is all burning to the ground. Everything I had gone in an instant.
Once upon the clearing I find there is a small creek bed I have to cross. Right before I am about to jump into the water, I look down seeing my own reflection. I immediately halt, and stare at the image of myself reflecting back at me from the water. I break down, not only am I black wolf but I’m more than that, some demon placed on earth by Satan himself. My body is wreathed in flames; I am the cause for the destruction of my home. Only had I seen it sooner I would have been able to stop running and think then none of this would have happened. Now I have to find a way to move on and live life.
The spirits are upon me now, they are telling me how much of a fool I have been. They tried telling me to stop, but in ignorance turned a blind eye to what they we saying and it cost me dearly. My home and sanctuary is gone, all I have are the memories in which will live in me forever. The spirits surrounding me are angry but i see they are here to help me move on, just as my pack does, brotherhood.
As I awoke in my bed, drenched in sweat I began to think. What if this was to happen to our Fraternity, what would I do. All of this is my fault and there is no waking up and it all just being a dream. Had I actually destroyed what is to be my home, where I have spent so much time and effort into and have come to love and respect? All of it gone in an instant, but is everything truly lost. Yes, the place we reside is gone but the love and the ties with the place are still strong. Being part of a brotherhood is sticking together no matter what happens; sharing these experiences only make us grow stronger. We can still live on have brotherhood, because all we really need is each other.
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